Archive for the ‘Joe Paterno’ Category

UPDATE: “College Football: The Movie”

November 11, 2008

Fresh off our latest news about initial casting last Friday, we have breaking word about principal photography starting today in Trojan-country. In what will surely be described as an Oscar-worthy roll about overcoming odds and incontinence, Sir Peter Falk has wasted no time getting into character as the lovable Paterno. Old Columbo was spotted on the street just outside the set, practicing lines, and scaring children. When asked questions about production, he lunged, screamed in support of the Nittany Lions. (Spoiler alert) He then shouted what will inevitably became the “THIS IS SPARTA” of 2009 (See photo). Falk then untucked his shirt and wandered back towards set, presumably for wardrobe or a different JoePa “changing”.

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Stay tuned for Friday, more casting news to devulge.

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Friday Movie Spectacular

November 7, 2008

(Note: pictures issue resolved)

“COLLEGE FOOTBALL: the movie”

Since I’m assuming what few readers we have currently are probably hungover this morning, I’ll cut straight to an image-heavy post today.  As much as I appreciate the many collegiate football movies currently out there, I can’t help but wonder what Hollywood would do with a film based on current NCAA football. And while I’ve been almost more interested in what Bollywood would do with it, I’ll only entertain the former. Now don’t get me wrong, movies about overcoming odds and Disney-finishes are great (see the recent Walt film which should have been titled “The Express to DVD”), I need something a bit more contemporary. I’m not so much concerned with the plot, though, as I am the casting. We’ll start simple with the best loved coaches.

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Charlie Weis played by John Goodman

I don’t know who better to capture Charlie’s charisma, energy, focus, character… ok, I admit, this one is 90% based on weight comparisons. Industrial Light and Magic has been contacted for digital runny nose shots. Acting notes: wear hoodies, hunch over press table.

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Joe Paterno played by Peter Falk

Do yourself a favor and listen to audio clips of these two back to back.

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Ty Willingham played by Denzel Washington

Mr. Washington heard there was a role about black man overcoming adversity and naturally jumped on it, not knowing this story might not have a cheery ending. Hopefully, Denzel likes DiGiorno.

When asked to comment, Ty said “It would be naïve on my part to think race didn’t play a role in this decision”

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Mark Mangino played by George Wendt

The near-Notre Dame grad was inched out for the role of Weis, but kept in touch with producers, who said they had a role that would fit perfectly. Commence mustachetacular, Norm.

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Nick Saban played by Javier Bardem

Fresh off his Oscar win, Bardem was eager to play another part in which he transforms a complete asshole into someone the audience cares about, regardless of his actions in the name of business. Bravo.

“I don’t want to talk about the polls, friendo”

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Randy Shannon played by Carl Weathers

Who better to take on the role of the most interesting man in college football than Action Jackson? I thought so.

“…baby, you got yourself a stew going”

SPECIAL GUEST APPEARANCE

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Lee Corso played by Mel Brooks

Separated at birth, neither destined to ever be taken seriously.

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Stayed tuned for next Friday’s casting, this will be an ongoing segment. Now go back to pretending to work.

RHD